How to Raise Young Children During a Military Deployment | eHow.com

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Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You'll Need:

• Map
• Calendar
• Stickers
• Video recorder

Step1

Talk to your children before the deployment. Children need to hear honest explanations about where there parent will be, what they will be doing and when they are coming back.

Step2

Explain that deployment is part of a job. Children may internalize their feelings, and think that they are the reason their mother or father is gone. Even if they don't express this to you, make sure you let them know they didn't do anything to make their parent leave.

Step3

Stick to existing routines as much as possible, but create new routines that help your child communicate and deal with the temporary loss of their parent.

Step4

Post a map in their room. Mark where the deployed parent is and then where you are. Talk openly about the distance, but calm their fears by finding fun facts about where the deployed parent is. This may divert their attention from their fears, and give them something besides the distance to focus on.

Step5

Hang a calendar before the deployment and put a sticker on each day of the deployment. Give your child the sticker every morning and remind them that it is a daily gift from the deployed parent. They will wear it proudly.

Step6

Encourage your children to talk on the phone with their deployed parent and make pictures or write letters to send on a weekly basis. Make sure the deployed parent responds, either by letter or phone to each thing sent.

Step7

Make a recording of the deployed parent reading stories, and make this a bedtime routine. Hearing the sound of their mother or father's voice may calm them and make them feel like their parent is not so far away. It is also calming for the parent left to raise the children!

How to Get Through a Deployment | eHow.com

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Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You'll Need:

• Family
• Friends
• Computer or laptop
• Cell phone

Step1

Stay open to a change in plans.

There is a flurry of activity in the beginning. Sometimes leave dates get moved and all your plans go right down the drain. Try to go with the flow. It's just as stressful on your loved one as it is on you.

Step2

Purchase a cell phone.

There is nothing worse at this time than missing a phone call from your deployed loved one. Get a cell phone and keep it with you so you never miss a call.

Step3

Have access to the internet.

Depending on where your loved one is deployed, they may only have access to a computer and not a phone. If you do not have access at home and do not have a friend or family member with internet, check out your local library. Most libraries have internet access.

Step4

Be prepared for no contact.

The first few days for your loved one are usually spent traveling. They may not have a chance to e-mail or call. It may be a week or longer before you hear anything.

There are also times throughout the deployment when your loved one cannot access the internet or a phone and you may not have any contact for several days. This is typical and normal.

Step5

Stay positive.

When you do finally get that phone call or e-mail, do your best to stay positive for your loved one. Their job is much easier if they know you are okay. This does not mean you have to be positive throughout the deployment or that you cannot talk to your loved one about things you are struggling with. However, in the beginning, it's easier for them to settle in if they don't have additional worries.

Step6

Get busy.

Do whatever you can do to entertain yourself. Anything you can do to keep busy while empowering yourself is a great way to spend your time.

See "Tips"

Step7

Send packages.

Your loved one loves nothing better than packages from home. It's best to ask what they would like to have before you send anything. That way you can send things they are in need of along with the fun things you want to send.

Have your children help prepare packages. It makes them feel included and less helpless.

Step8

Realize that some days are just no good.

No matter how hard you try, no matter how positive your outlook, no matter how busy you are, some days are going to be overwhelming. Some days you will feel angry. Some you will feel sad. Some you will feel a mixture of both. On those days, just focus on getting through that day.

See "Warnings"

Step9

Be prepared for the homecoming.

Finally, the day you have waited for arrives and your loved one is coming home! As with the beginning of the deployment, be open to change. Flights change and get delayed. Dates can get moved around.

Most important, your loved one may not be up to the ideas you have planned. As hard as it is, try not to have expectations and remain open to what your loved one is comfortable with. The deployment is over but the adjusting is just beginning. Remember, there is nothing wrong with getting outside help if you need it. Sometimes coming home is harder than leaving.

Step10

Give yourself a pat on the back.

It takes a strong person to get through a loved one's deployment. We go though it so other families don't have to. We are a silent, but brave minority. Be proud. You are supporting your loved one and your country.

How to Readjust to Family Life after Deployment | eHow.com

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Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You'll Need:

• A no-holds-barred celebration
• An almost immediate family vacation away from home
• Your deployment workbook
• An approachable attitude that allows others into your private sphere
• An attitude of understanding and respect for the accomplishments of your family in your absence

Step1

Celebrate! You've been deployed a long time but were fortunate enough to return home. Thank your lucky stars and celebrate this momentous occasion. When your family meets you at the airport, on base or at the pier, expect tears to fall freely—theirs and yours. Don't be ashamed of showing that kind of emotion even if you've never been given to it before. Everyone changes during extended deployments and if you've seen service in a combat zone, your life-and-death experiences will have made you a different person. Despite these emerging realities, enjoy the reunion with your family.

Step2

Get out of Dodge. When you return from deployment, you're really coming home from a year's worth of work. As a result, you see home as a long sought after respite. On the other hand, your spouse sees the same house as a place of work, the family's central nervous system in which a year's worth of experiences—good, bad, enlightening, bewildering—have taken place since. To level the playing field for all involved, take advantage of one of the many vacation offers available to military families. A week or so away from home will allow you and your family to create new experiences together in a non-threatening environment, and it will enable you to ease back into your role as husband, wife, father or mother. The trip will also permit your family to adjust to you being among them again.

Step3

Break out the book. Back home after the vacation, spend an evening with your family talking about some of the things that have happened in your absence. Open your deployment workbook, grab the calendar you should have included and collectively review the weeks and months that have passed. Talk about some of your experiences, achievements, fears and disappointments while inviting your family members to do the same. It's critically important that you have a chance to discuss with them your combat patrols, resupply missions and Saturday night poker games. At the same time, it's vital to give your spouse and children the chance to tell about achievements at the office, fighting with lawnmowers that quit working, how second grade is so much more difficult than first and that the Christmas band concert at school was the best ever.

Step4

Recognize change. You've been gone quite a while and during that time you've grown personally and professionally. The same is true for your spouse. The moment you left home all those months ago, your spouse added your family and household duties to hers or his. Events such as praising or disciplining children, maintaining the yard, house and cars, walking the dog and even killing those really big, angry-looking spiders that occasionally skitter across the living room floor instantly disappeared from your responsibility list and materialized on your spouse's. In fact, he or she can probably tell you many things you didn't know about your own familial responsibilities. Listen closely to the experiences your spouse relates and accept that life went on in your household in spite of your absence.

Step5

Don't upset the apple cart. Your spouse has kept the family running smoothly while you've been gone but that didn't happen by itself. She or he has learned to keep tabs on his or her schedule and those of the children, and doing so successfully required strict scheduling. Moreover, your spouse has planned time so precisely as a defense against the emotional effects of your absence. Take a step back and watch your spouse in action. Learn what's changed and don't question her or his techniques until you understand the motivation behind them.

Step6

Separate but together. Essentially, you, your spouse and your kids have led separate lives during the course of your deployment. Because of that, each person needs a bit of time daily to be alone with individual thoughts. You were able to do that during your absence while you were eating at the mess hall, working out, cleaning your weapon or listening to music. Your spouse and family used similar methods to decompress. Talk about this openly with your spouse and family, and for the first several weeks after your return, be careful about inadvertently invading someone's private space.

How to Support a Spouse During Military Deployment | eHow.com

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Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Step1

Keep in touch by email and phone if possible. If your spouse has access to his email and to a phone while he is on deployment, email him daily to keep his spirits up, and keep your cell phone with you at all times so that you can take his call no matter where you happen to be.

Step2

Send care packages regularly that are stocked with his favorite food, books, magazines, DVD's and anything else that you think will help him pass the time and forget for a moment that he is on deployment.

Step3

Write thoughtful, supportive letters. Your spouse needs a lot of encouragement to get through this time, and receiving actual letters in the mail that he can hold on to and read whenever he needs more encouragement will help him to get through it. Include recent photographs of you, your children and other members of the family in each letter.

Step4

Involve your children, family and friends by asking them to write emails and letters and to send packages and photos to your deployed spouse. Your spouse needs everyone's support through this time, not only yours.

Step5

Stay positive. Even though you will undoubtedly go through tough times while your spouse is on deployment, keep your words, emails and letters to him as positive and uplifting as possible.

Step6

Tell him you love him every chance you get. This is not the time for arguments. Let your spouse know that you are there for him and that you are in love with him. Stay close during this time period so that when he comes home, there was never any doubt in his mind who would be there waiting for him.

How to Prepare for an Army Deployment (For the spouse) | eHow.com

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Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You'll Need:

• Lockbox
• Journal
• Notebook
• Pen
• Time

Step1

TAKE TIME TO OVERCOME THE SHOCK As military spouses we all know and understand the mission of the Army and we have learned what role our spouses play in that mission. If you are a new military spouse and have no idea what I am talking about, feel free to leave me a message and I'll be happy to teach you that, as well. We know we have to be prepared at all times for anything yet when our spouse walks in on a normal day to inform us of stop loss, we start sweating and when he has orders to deploy, it is natural to go through a range of emotions from panic to anger to fear to frustration to well.. you may ride a rollercoaster of emotions you have never encounted but this is when you need to stop and breathe. Hug your spouse and let him/her know that soon you will have a lot to ask or say but for the time you think you should take time to let the news sink in. He/she will understand. Whatever it is that you do to relax, this is now the time to do it.

Step2

START A JOURNAL. Somewhere around the house most of us already have an unused journal. Dig deep in your white elephant closet, if you have such, and I bet you may have one there. If not, maybe go to the store or a craft store and purchase a new one with a style on the cover that best represents you. This will be your deployment journal and starting from the time you buy it, start journaling any thoughts, fears, joys, etc. regarding the deployment. I found trying to journal daily was my preference but for some, depending on jobs, and general business of life, once a week may be all you can do and that is fine but be sure to keep one. Get creative with your journal. You don't always have to write in a journal. Perhaps it's Halloween and you think about Halloween with your spouse, you may put a photo from last Halloween on that day's page. You may decide to draw one day or paint. Hey, it's your journal...make it yours! You'll start it now but it will be like a good friend to talk to for the next 12-15 months.

Step3

ATTEND DEPLOYMENT BRIEFINGS WITH YOUR SPOUSE THAT ARE OPEN TO FAMILY MEMBERS. This is perhaps one step a lot of spouses miss. For whatever reason they don't attend with their servicemember. At a deployment briefing so much helpful information is put out for families. You'll hear what services/organizations/etc. your spouse needs to ensure he/she has visited to have forms completed and etc. You really should be a part of this. If you work, ask to take off for this and if you have children, see about a babysitter for the day. People realize the nature of the deployment briefings and will try to accomodate you. A lesson well learned is not to depend on your spouse to bring the info. to you. Can you imagine how much is on their mind at the time and how easy it is for them to accidentally forget other things you need to know? Take a notebook with you. If you are a slow note taker,heck take a cassette recorder. This is 2008 so get s small one, don't just bust in there with w big jambox. (just a lil light humor) If services are there and set up, take time after the briefing to walk around and pick up information from each one. You never know which ones you could have already benefitted from and which ones you'll soon need. This way you are making yourself a self-reliant spouse having info. you may need. After you return home, ask your spouse any questions you may have about anything you heard at the briefing. He/she will explain it to you to where you can understand.

Step4

HAVE THE TALK EVERYONE WISHES TO AVOID. This is perhaps the talk most spouses wish to avoid but please realize it needs to take place. I can't express this enough. Let your spouse know you realize such a talk needs to occur and let them tell you when is a good time for them. This is when you discuss your spouse's plans for his/her death. To make it easier, do as I did and make it a two sided conversation discussing your wishes for your death as well. (also another article) At this time look together over his will and find out the specifics such as location of burial, whether he/she desires full military honors, other special requests, etc. Write this information down in a notebook and save it. I recommend having your spouse sign and date the end of whatever you write just in case a family dispute arises later. I am not a lawyer so I am not sure it will hold up in court but always be safe. This will be a solemn conversation but just know he/she will appreciate you making that step. Be cautioned that if this becomes a humorous thing for your spouse, don't ridicule them, as long as you're getting facts, just take any crazy extra fill in info. and toss it aside. Some soldiers have a strange way of approaching things...like my husband for example. But as long as you get his true desires, you have done well.

Step5

GET YOU A CHECKLIST & COMPLETE IT. If you have not already done so, make a deployment checklist. I will a deployment checklist article here soon, so check it, see if there are others already here on eHow or google one. Included on this list will be your spouse's will, insurance papers, power of attorney, etc. Store these documents in your lockbox with any other valuables. You should already have a lockbox in your home, if not, you do now. Keep all other emergency info. here such as passports, copies of ID cards, SS cards, marriage certificate, birth certificates, etc. Go through your checklist and complete the entire list.

Step6

UTILIZE YOUR COMMUNITY SERVICES. Although you will be busy, go through the brochures, flyers, etc. you received at the deployment briefing. If you didn't obtain anything, start with Red Cross. From there they can direct you to other sources. Educate yourself on how to send a Red Cross message, how to read a LES, etc. If you are an Army spouse as I am, be sure you attend your FRG meetings.

Step7

me and hubby before deployment spending time in Bad Kissingen, Germany DEVOTE TIME TO YOUR SPOUSE. Throughout all these steps, this is something you have been doing. You almost end up playing this by watching your spouse. Let me explain, sometimes you and your spouse will smother each other because he/she is wanting more of you but on the other hand you may see times where he/she is not so close. This is normal and as time goes by you'll understand how for some strange reason spouses seem to start to draw themselves apart before a long separation. I believe the reasoning to be because it will be easier to say goodbye but don't think you'll be missed any less. This is just a servicemembers way of dealing with the hurt of an upcoming separation before it takes place. No harm intended and not to be expected by all soldiers. Whatever time you do get together, talk. Talk about everything, the good, the bad and the ugly. Each couple knows what makes them tick so this step is all on you to personalize but PAMPER your spouse in all ways. If it kills you (and it won't) let your husband get away with murder...let him get away with teasting you or walking around singing in the voice that just makes you want to puke...just share laughter at all times you can!

Step8

MAKE A HAPPY BOX. The days leading up to your spouse's deployment, create what I call a happy box. Take a box like a large old cigar box and tell your spouse it's his/her job to decorate it and fill it with momentos, notes, that will make you smile or make you happy. Now don't be suprised if it is decorated crazy...we all aren't Martha Stewart. This box is not to be opened by you until after he/she deploys but make sure you have been told where to find it. When you get sad, just go dog through it.

Step9

BECOME A DEPLOYMENT INVESTIGATOR. I realize this step is out of order but about a month away from deployment, make the library and the internet your friend. Research stories about deployment, military resources, etc. Chances are there is a lot you need to learn. If your spouse is still there when your learning begins, he/she can help you understand what you are learning more. Bookmark the websites and forums for military spouses, you will find them helpful.

Step10

GET YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM ESTABLISHED. Well I have this saying that if someonw is not going to encourage me, be there for me at all times, be a positive role model for me, etc. they are toxic and they are not in my support group. The people in this group will be those people who are resourceful, maybe spouses who are what I call military immune (been military spouses awhile), your FRG, spouses club members, etc. You will know who is a good fit for you but be sure you have a support system. Some people think they have to have a lot of friends but always know a few true friends last a lifetime and are enough.

Step11

HELP YOUR SPOUSE PREPARE Of course you have been helping your spouse mentally but when it comes time to pack up, take part. I always feel more useful even if all I am doing is calling out and checking off the list. I am stingy with my husband's time anytime he leaves so I don't even let the hour or so for packing get wasted...I am there and he enjoys my company. Sometimes you may want to get sneaky, add some cards you've already prepared for him in his bags after he has packed them. I usually send about a 3 week supply of cards scattered in his stuff and marked on the outside what date he is to open which. It comes as a pleasant surprise especially since it will be awhile before he has an address to write him at. Just a suggestion. If there are things still needed, try to go shopping for them for your spouse.

Step12

DEPLOYMENT DAY & DEPLOYMENT PLAN. While no one can really say how they will handle a deployment, it is good to have a deployment notebook to jot down ideas of things you can do during the deployment. Maybe losing or gaining weight, traveling, going to school, learning a new skill, whatever you can think of...write it down as a plan. If you are pretty organized give yourself some goals for doing those things. Also have a deployment day plan in place. Do you want to be alone or among others? Keep in mind other spouses are having the same day you will be so maybe if you know someone, get together right afterwards for support. Call a family member or journal.

Step13

IF POSSIBLE SPEND THE LAST MOMENTS TOGETHER. The opportunity is not always there but if your spouse has to check in at a certain time the night before deployment and you can be there, be there. In our case everyone checked in and then remained outside until morning came. Boy are soldiers creative. They can make a bed of anything...smile. I slept outside cuddled with my husband while it drizzled. Next morning headed for the gym where they would deploy from. Time is precious to take advantage of it.

Step14

PUT YOUR DEPLOYMENT DAY PLAN & DEPLOYMENT PLAN IN PLACE. This is day one. Pull out your deployment plan notebook and when you are ready, get started. Don't let too much time pass because you may fall into an ugly pit of depression. Don't expect to hear from your spouse immediately and know that as soon as he/she can, you will get a call or a letter. The next 12-15 months will be tough but hopefully these steps will get you on a good start.

How to Prepare Children for a Parent's Deployment | eHow.com

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Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Step1

Be honest and upfront with children about an upcoming deployment. Do not wait till the last minute to inform a child that you will be going away for a prolonged period of time. It is important to give the children enough time to digest the situation, ask questions and receive answers. Sometimes, the deployment is sudden, but the parent still must set aside time to communicate and reassure the child.

Step2

Make sure the parent that is left to care for the child during deployment knows all about base-wide services that are available to the spouse and the children of deployed soldiers. Many base installations have clubs and groups that are specifically geared to children of deployed soldiers. It is a wonderful way to help children connect with other children that are experiencing what they are, and it gives them access to counseling support that can be instrumental in helping the children with stress that builds when a parent deploys.

Step3

Ask the child to help pack. This can help the child feel involved in the deployment process and give them time to communicate and ask those hard questions that may be weighing on their mind.

Step4

Take the opportunity to teach the child about the rules of OPSEC. This will also help the child to feel like they are carrying out a responsible and important task while the parent is deployed.

Step5

Limit the amount of news the child will have access to viewing. Keeping up with current events is important to everyone, including children. However, the news can depict the dangers and negative aspects that are involved in many of the locations their parents may be deployed to. Having this constant reminder of the dangers and negativities associated with deployments may cause more stress to the child.

Step6

Exchange special keepsakes with the child. The parent can give the child an item like a hat they wear for work or an extra set of "dog tags." The child can give the parent something they hold dear. This will give each something special to stay connected to. Having a special keepsake helps people stay close even when there is distance keeping them apart.

Step7

Give the child a framed photograph of the parent that is deploying. The child can keep this next to their bed and use it to reflect and communicate with their loved one. Also, give the deploying parent a framed picture of the child. This will help the child feel like they are with the parent during the separation period.

Step8

Assign a specific chore for the child to carry out. This will make the child feel like they have an important role in the family while their parent is deployed.

Step9

Invest in a flat daddy or flat mommy. These are photo posters of the deployed parent that can be rolled up and toted all over the place with the child. The child can also make their own daddy or mommy poster buy drawing a picture of the parent that will be deploying on paper and decorating it.

Step10

Make tape recordings or video tapes reading the child's favorite stories to them. This will allow the deployed parent to interact with the child even while they are deployed. The tapes or videos can be played each night at bedtime, which will give the child a daily dose of the parent they are missing.

Step11

Establish a meaningful phrase that can be a special phrase the deployed parent and child say daily. It could as simple as "I love you, I miss you" or "I love you, sleep tight, goodnight."

Step12

Spend a few weeks prior to deployment hiding small gifts and special notes around the home. Make up maps and clues that can be given to the child every few weeks to help them search for what has been hidden.

Step13

Help the child plan out and schedule fun activities to take part in while the parent is deployed. Mark down on the calendar the chosen activities that were decided. This will give the child something to look forward to and give them something to write or talk about with the parent that is deployed. It will also prevent the child from moping around the house waiting and constantly thinking about not having that parent there. It is a good habit to keep children of deployed military members busy.

Step14

Give the child and family a special keepsake box where they can collect the letters and souvenirs the deployed parent sends home. Also, the deployed parent should make sure and send letters addressed directly to the child. This will make the child feel important and reassure them that they are in the parent's thoughts.

Step15

Try to schedule phone calls home during times the child will be available. This can often be difficult because of the time differences that may present a true obstacle. However, it is important to try and keep the lines of communications open with the child and being able to talk and hear the voice of their deployed parent can go a long way to lessening stress.

How to Prepare for an Extended Deployment | eHow.com

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Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You'll Need:

• A deployment workbook
• A will
• A living will
• Special or general powers of attorney for your spouse or next of kin
• A list of important points of contact

Step1

Know your responsibilities. Deployments are almost always planned well in advance giving those affected sufficient time to put their personal affairs in order prior to leaving home. The military or your organization will provide you with all the inoculations, uniforms and equipment necessary for you to deal with your ordeal, but as a spouse, parent or dependent, the onus is on you to prepare your family for your protracted absence. Recognize this responsibility and take advantage of all the opportunities given to you by the military and its expansive support network.

Step2

Your deployment workbook. All military organizations will conduct pre-deployment seminars and you shouldn't sleep through any of them. There, you'll receive a number of handouts valuable to you and your family. Bring each of these home and create your personal deployment workbook to which your spouse, child or parents can easily refer when they need assistance. Create a table of contents that identifies the location of each important piece of information and complete a list of frequently called telephone numbers and websites to simplify the process of receiving answers to important and sometimes time-sensitive questions.

Step3

Taking care of legal business. Make appointments with the judge advocate general's office at the nearest military installation in order to complete your last will and testament. The legal office will also help you execute powers of attorney that will allow your next of kin to accomplish tasks such as filing your income tax or depositing the refund check, renewing your vehicle registration or ensuring your driver's license doesn't expire during your absence. Also, either that office or the nearest military hospital will assist you in preparing a living will should you desire to do so.

Step4

Do the paperwork. Ensure that all of your important documents are properly sorted, identified and stored. Examples of such documents include vehicle titles, home mortgage information, passports, birth certificates, social security cards, diplomas and degrees, and other financial information relating to insurance, investments or credit. Consider keeping these valuable documents in a lockable file cabinet or fireproof home safe, and make certain your family has access to the key, combination or entry code.

Step5

Hold the classifieds. Include some copies of recent base newspapers in your deployment workbook. These publications often list "military friendly" businesses that offer services such as free oil changes, tire rotations, reduced-cost meals, entertainment specials and travel assistance. Additionally, these periodicals frequently print lists of important phone numbers that will make it simpler and faster for your family to identify and contact critical organizations such as medical facilities, exchanges, car service centers, legal services, child development centers and unit representatives.

Step6

You and your surrogate. Your deployment workbook will serve as your representative in your absence. Aside from the important references you include, be sure to stock it with pictures of yourself alone and with members of your family. Their ability to look at and reminisce about the pictures and events that surrounded them will further ease the burden of your absence.

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Tips & Warnings

• Pay close attention to the information you gain during your pre-deployment briefings, especially the portions that relate to legal matters.
• In addition to your important documents, your safe or filing cabinet should also contain a list of login and password information for critical websites such as schools, fraternal organizations or critical, work related portals.
• Include a calendar in your deployment workbook that spans the anticipated length of your deployment. Your family members can jot down interesting things that happened in your absence and relive them with you upon your return.
• Powers of attorney are delicate guarantors of legal authority and they should only be given when absolutely needed and to people you trust implicitly.

Resources

• Army Emergency Relief
• Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society
• Air Force Aid Society
• USAA Deployment Guide

How to get through a military deployment | eHow.com

link

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You'll Need:

• Dedication
• Patience
• Love
• Understanding

Step1

When your spouse gets ready to leave, have a special note for them to read on the trip. It's something they can carry with them whenever and where ever they like.

Step2

Make sure there is nothing unfinished between the two of you. Being apart in a stressful situation is not a time to fight or argue. As sad as it is, you don't know if it's going to be the last time you talk to your loved one and you don't want to leave things on a sour note.

Step3

Listen to them when they call. They love you and are concerned about your day and your life away from them. But, at the same time, they are putting their lives on the line every day. Listen to them, even if it is them complaining or even crying.

Listening lets them know that you are there for them emotionally, if not physically.

Step4

Tell them how much you love them. They already know this (or they should) but hearing it and seeing it in letters never hurts either. The higher their moral, the more alert and aware they will be.

Step5

Write to them as often as possible. Send cards, letters and packages. Even if they don't have the time to write back, write to them. You can use it as a way to relieve stress and they can always have something tangible to hold that is a piece of home.

Step6

Be patient and let things roll off your back. Yes, it's easier said then done but the time will pass and hopefully your loved on will come back to you unharmed. Until then, nothing you do will bring them home sooner. Just love them and support them.

Step7

Try not to bother them with problems from home. I know things happen in every day life that can be a small tragedy, but your spouse can't fix things from thousands of miles away. So, if the garbage man accidentally tossed your trash all over the street and you had to clean it up, try not to share it. You don't want to stress your loved one out because telling them these kinds of things will only make them wish they were home so they could take care of it.

Step8

Tell them you are proud of them. You may not agree with the war and you may have your own beliefs, but what they are doing is something strong, noble and challenging. They need to know that you are behind them 100 percent and that you will always be there for them.

How to Deal With Your Husband's Deployment | eHow.com

link

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Step1

Make sure all lose ends are tied up before your partner's deployment. Have phone numbers readily available that you can reach his work at, or the repairman, or one of his friend's who promised to fix the car if anything went wrong. Any numbers that your partner might normally know should be out for you to get a hold of in a hurry.

Step2

Join an online support group for military family members where you can share grievances.

Step3

Make friends with the other spouses of deployed people. This is very important because you will need to lean on someone who understands and knows what you are going through during these hard times. Spend as much time with them as possible, possibly sharing dinner nights at each others houses so your homes don't feel so lonely.

Step4

If you have kids, get to know the parents of your children's friends so that you can share play dates. It can be very hard being a single parent when a spouse is deployed, so sharing responsibilities between friends can be a life-saver.

How to Deal With the First Deployment of Your Husband | eHow.com

link

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Step1

Normally before a deployment there is what's called a Deployment Fair. It's very important to attend this event because you find out an enormous amount of information. One very critical thing you will find out at this event is how to get Power of Attorney, which is something you will definitely need. You also can get contact for your Family Readiness Group(FRG). This official command-sponsered organization consists of family members, volunteers, and soldiers of a unit who provide support and assistance to the families of deployed soldiers.

Step2

Try not to look at the big picture. Break down the deployment time by concentrating on other smaller time periods. One fun thing to do is to count toothbrushes. Since you are supposed to change toothbrushes every three months, look at a 12 month deployment as just four toothbrush changes. This is something that you and the children can do at home and your husband can do as well.

Step3

Make a list of about 25 fun things that you and the kids can do. For example research fun museums or other interesting places in other cities not too far from your home. Twice a month make the drive to one of the places. Visit shops in the area, have lunch, make a whole day out of it.

Step4

Start something you may have always been interested in. Learn to play an instrument, take a drama, art or photography class or maybe even go back to school. Look into all your resources because you may qualify for scholarships and grants. Also this would be a perfect time to get the children involved in some activity. If you live on base, your children can get a certain amount of lessons and play sports for free. Also you should qualify for a certain amount of free child care hours a month. Check all your resources!

Step5

Set a goal to accomplish by the time he gets home. It could be losing weight, toning up, quitting smoking, or some other bad habit. Make this the time to do it.

Step6

Plan something fun to do when your hubby comes home. Pick out a family vacation destination and start saving for it now. Be sure to check into the Savings Deposit Program because this is a great opportunity to get 10% interest on your savings.

Step7

Stay connected! If your husband is in a place where he can get internet access, make sure you have a webcam. This will be really fun for the children and once the children are in bed, mommy and daddy can have fun as well! It's important to talk as much as possible, to pray with each other, and to respect the trust you have both given to each other. Try not to argue over anything. Instead find a way to make every moment you share fun and loving.

How to Cope When a Spouse is Deployed | Answerbag.com

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Instructions

• Step 1:
  Plan to have some special time alone together before your spouse leaves. If you have kids, make sure to have plenty of quality family time together. Create good memories that will help you remember the good times when your husband or wife deploys. Take pictures to look at when you need a pick-me-up.
• Step 2:
  Be prepared for a wave of emotions ranging from anger to fear to sadness. Know that your feeling don't mean you aren't being supportive of your spouse. Talk with your spouse. Talk honestly and often with your children about the deployment.
• Step 3:
  Get the legal stuff taken care of. As difficult as it may be to think about something devastating happening, it's important that the deploying soldier have an up-to-date will. Write down the information you will need to contact your spouse in the case of an emergency.
• Step 4:
  Discuss the budget and bills and make sure you will be able to have full control over the finances while your spouse is overseas. You can set up direct payments for many loans and other bills to save time. If your spouse was in charge of filing taxes, be prepared to learn how or contact an accountant.
• Step 5:
  Talk about your cars. If you have multiple cars, you should make plans to maintain your spouse's car if you intend to keep it. You also might want to talk to your insurance company about your options.
• Step 6:
  Before your spouse is deployed, find someone you can talk to. If you live on a military installation, there are support groups available. You can also lean on friends or family. There are many online support groups that will allow you to anonymously express your fears when you need to.
• Step 7:
  Sign up for a unit newsletter if there is one.
• Step 8:
  If you have children, find out what child care services are available.
• Step 9:
  Learn the signs of depression and distress. Watch for them in your kids and yourself during the deployment.
• Step 10:
  Pick up a new hobby to keep busy during the deployment. Participating in a recreational sports league or book club is a great way to meet new people and stay active. Try volunteering at a local school, animal shelter or charity organization. You could take a class at a nearby college or gym. Feed your soul by taking up painting or writing, or just indulge yourself in some good books.
• Step 11:
  Keep your spirits up by preparing care packages for your spouse. Include photos or drawings your children have made.
• Step 12:
  Remember that while phone calls and emails are great, sometimes the best form of communication while two people are away from one another is writing letters.

Tips & Warnings

• If you are separated for a holiday, simply delay it. There's nothing wrong with having Christmas in March if that holiday is special for your family.
• Know that no two people go through exactly the same thing during a separation. Do what feels right to you, and don't get angry if your kids or spouse doesn't feel the same way you do.
• Don't be embarrassed about talking to a medical professional if you feel you or your children may be experiencing depression or anxiety.

How to Cope When a Spouse is Deployed Provided by eHow.com

How to Survive a Spouse's Military Deployment | Answerbag.com

link

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Letters
• Care packages

• Step 1:
  Express your concerns about the risks of deployment and the responsibilities you will take on once your spouse has deployed. Schedule special time to do this instead of letting your emotions dictate when you talk. Your spouse is feeling pressure, too, and they need to be able to express those concerns to you.
• Step 2:
  Attend briefings for spouses and families, if offered, prior to the deployment. Getting information about how to contact your spouse, what to do in an emergency and meeting other families in your spouse's unit will help diminish some of your anxiety.
• Step 3:
  Become involved with other spouses in your unit, or at least keep in contact with them, during the deployment. If you should need their support throughout the deployment, you will feel more comfortable if you have been talking to them.
• Step 4:
  Decide to be positive before phone calls with your spouse. Be honest about emotions, but tell him how you solved a situation instead of how frustrated you were by the situation. Show him how much you need him, but tell them that you are getting by on your own, as well.
• Step 5:
  Send letters on a weekly basis, and care packages once a month. Letters and packages can take some time to get to your spouse, so if you are able to communicate by email or phone, make sure your letters aren't repeating information you have already told your spouse. Make letters about personal things, and keep family updates and everyday life for phone calls and emails.
• Step 6:
  Stay informed about current events. Watching the news is a great way to do this, but remember that sensational stories make the news, and this is not always a good depiction of real life.
• Step 7:
  Allow yourself time to get used to being away from your spouse, and don't feel bad when you wake up one day and feel better. It doesn't mean you don't love or need them, it just means you are stronger than you think!

Tips & Warnings

• Other military spouses will know how you are feeling better than many of your long-time friends, because they are feeling it too. They don't have to be your best friend, but you may need a friendly voice when no one else in your life seems to understand your situation.
• Deployments make for tired people, so don't be offended when the tone of your spouse's voice on the phone is less than enthusiastic. It doesn't mean they don't miss you, it just means they need some sleep!
• It is normal to feel sad and lonely from time to time, but if your mood gets worse or you notice you are letting things go, you may be showing signs of depression. Talk to your doctor immediately if you think you are suffering from depression.

How to Survive a Spouse's Military Deployment Provided by eHow.com

How to Stay in Touch During a Military Deployment | Answerbag.com

link

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Letters
• Care packages
• Email
• Camera
• Video Recorder

• Step 1:
  Write letters on a weekly basis. All it takes is getting that first letter in the mail from your deployed loved one, and you realize how important getting and receiving letters can be. If you love it that much, they will appreciate it even more.
• Step 2:
  Send care packages every month or every other month. Include toiletry items, books, magazines, their favorite hard candy and recent pictures of family, friends and children.
• Step 3:
  Email every day. Emails are a great way to let them know you are thinking about them. If you don't have time to write a lot, just say, "I'm thinking of you." That's enough.
• Step 4:
  Mail videos of family get-togethers, holidays, birthdays or just you talking. Make sure they can view the video on their computer. If they can't, then send quick video clips by email.
• Step 5:
  Create a Carepage where you can keep you deployed family member up to date on what is going on in your community, and at the same time keep your family and friends up to date on your loved one's deployment status. These sites are private and can be viewed by invitation only.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't get discouraged if you don't get a response right away. This isn't a vacation for the person deployed. They are working hard and need your understanding when they can't immediately respond.
• If you have an emergency and need to contact your deployed family member, you should contact their unit's rear detachment.
• If a serious illness or death in the family occurs, you will need to contact the American Red Cross, who will verify the emergency and contact your deployed family member.
• Don't send too many things in care packages that will need to be brought back home. Deployed service members have limited space to store things, and they don't have a personal assistant to help them carry their belongings when coming home.

How to Stay in Touch During a Military Deployment Provided by eHow.com

How to Keep a Family Bond During a Military Deployment | Answerbag

link

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Letters
• Pictures

• Step 1:
  Maintain existing routines as much as possible. Children and adults need consistency to deal with the emotional side of deployment.
• Step 2:
  Insist that children keep up with their normal chores and school work, but don't overload them with too many additional tasks that were done by the deployed family member. They have enough to deal with.
• Step 3:
  Make breakfast and dinner a family affair. Use this time to discuss your day and monitor your children's emotions.
• Step 4:
  Dedicate one evening a week to write letters or emails to the deployed family member. Include pictures and drawings, and ask for pictures in return. Pictures allow children, and spouses, to visualize where the deployed family member is and what they are doing.
• Step 5:
  Read letters and emails from the deployed family member together. Getting a letter or email is exciting and hard not to open immediately, but reading it as a family will help create that bond, and may spark conversations that help you understand what your children are feeling.
• Step 6:
  Keep current pictures of the deployed family member displayed, and give your children pictures to keep with them or display in their bedrooms.
• Step 7:
  Talk about what you will do as a family when the deployment is over. Always stay positive and plan ahead as if everyone is safely at home.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't get angry with your children if they seem disinterested by letters or discussions about the missing family member. They need to express their emotions in their own way and in their own time.
• Let everyone put their own unique gift in care packages, but send it off together as a family.
• If you feel family counseling is necessary, contact the Family Support Center on your base if you are active duty, or go through the Family Assistance Center set up for your reserve unit. Links to all specific military installations can be found at military.com.

How to Keep a Family Bond During a Military Deployment Provided by eHow.com

A Deployment Checklist

Source of information

This has some good tips on what to take that's not for "official use". :)

Some items included are:

iPod

a reading list
pics of friends & family

laptop - the Acer Aspire One series is compact & very affordable & they have an ACU skin to go on top of it for $14.99!

coffee press

favorite coffee

electric kettle

civilian clothes

head lamp

digital camera

good pair of sandals or flip flops for shower shoes
USAA.com checking account (it's free & the debit card can be used for FREE overseas)

a leatherman

A good digital watch with multiple time-zone capability
Extra green logbooks

rechargeable batteries & charger

Ziploc bags

550 cord

Gladware (for leftover snacks)

2 months of toiletries

plastic bucket (to wash personal items in & to haul laundry with)
1 set twin size sheets

clothespins & clothesline cord


Spouse deployment checklist
family deployment checklist
usaa.com deployment guide

Soldier Poem

For all the free people that still protest. You're welcome.
We protect you and you are protected by the best.
Your voice is strong and loud, but who will fight for you?
No one standing in your crowd.

We are your fathers, brothers, and sons,
wearing the boots and carrying guns.
We are the ones that leave all we own,
to make sure your future is carved in stone.

We are the ones who fight and die,
We might not be able to save the world,
Well, at least we try.
We walked the paths to where we are at
and we want no choice other than that.

So when you rally your group to complain,
take a look in the back of your brain.
In order for that flag you love to fly
wars must be fought and young men must die.

We came here to fight for the ones we hold dear.
If that's not respected,
we would rather stay here.
So please stop yelling, put down your signs,
and pray for those behind enemy lines.

And then when the conflict is over and all is well,
be thankful that we chose to go through hell.

Computer Tips

With the internet being the most popular form of communication
these days between soldiers and their families,
make sure your computer continues to run smoothly.
Is your computer too slow? Does it freeze up alot?
If so, please check out these tips and let's get
that computer running great again!


Download these and run/update them weekly..

- AdAware

- Ccleaner

- ZoneAlarm

- AVG Anti-virus (free)

Also, run the disk defrag program on your computer atleast
monthly.

Need a computer question answered? Click here!

A Soldier's Courage

Recovery from war injuries takes a lifetime

Norris Galatas spends most of his time on the campus of Walter Reed Army Hospital in Washington, D.C. The Mississippi Army National Guardsman lives in the Guest House - his second home until his surgeries are done.

He hopes to be back for a visit this week, in time for his wife's book signing at 9 a.m. Saturday at the Wal-Mart Bonita Lakes store in Meridian.

Her self-published book, A Soldier's Courage by Janis Galatas, is about him.

"She's really proud of it," he says. "It's opened a lot of people's eyes."

About the war, he means.

Norris Galatas' story, as told by his wife, personalizes these findings of the Walter Reed Army Institute of Research:

An estimated 12 to 20 percent of veterans returning from Iraq are troubled by post-traumatic stress disorder.

If you order this book from Amazon at the above link be sure to leave a customer review and show some support/words of encouragement for Janis. :)